Question by Jason: Is the “silent treatment” a form of passive aggressive emotional abuse?
I apologize for the length. Is the “silent treatment” a form of passive aggressive emotional abuse? I have someone in my life (or used to be at least that completely gives me the silent treatment. It’s my ex girlfriend. We work at the same place so we see each other daily. We broke up almost 10 months ago, but we stayed “friends” for about three months. We would even go out on dates together and she even started to want to have sex with me again (which was probably unwise), but I thought that maybe we were going to get back together. But she made it very clear that she did not want to get back together, that we had a “no strings attached relationship,” and that she didn’t mind if I dated other girls. Meanwhile, I began talking to this other girl from work, and we began to date (After all, my ex said that she didn’t mind.) Well, I guess when it was all said and don, my ex did mind because she got very angry and jealous. She began to say nasty things about me and the new girl I was seeing. She told me that seeing another person from work was the lowest of the lows, but she herself dated a guy from work before she dated me so I thought that was a bit hypocritical on her part. So I got mad at her for being mad at me. After all, she was the one that ended the relationship in the first place. All I did was move on. So I started saying mean things about her which I know was wrong. Anyway, she has been giving me the silent treatment for about seven months now, and it hurts. I’ve even tried apologizing to her for my part via e-mail (I didn’t want to confront her at work). She took my e-mail, which was very innocent and told my boss that I was “harassing her.” She just does very passive aggressive things to hurt me. I guess I could understand her hatred for me if I had cheated on her, was physically abusive, if I had left her financially ruined, or if I had a substance abuse or gambling addiction. But none of that occurred. As a matter of fact, I was always there for her whenever she needed a friend, a helping hand, or a shoulder to cry on. How can she live with herself? It just hurts because I truly loved this girl and I think that I deserve better.. Yeah, I leave her alone, but it still hurts.

Best answer:

Answer by essentiallysolo
she is definitely passive/aggressive and YOU are codependant, suggest you read up on codependancy.

Answer by Chantarella
The “silent treatment” is only a form of passive aggressive emotional abuse if you fall for it. And it seems to me that you have been falling for this girls games for a long time. Not only that, but you seem to agree with her treatment of you so much, that you are doing the same thing she is doing. And then to top it all off with the very worst thing you could do: YOU apologize to HER for her abuse of you.
Do you really know what is going on? I have the feeling you dont have a clue- not about what she is doing to you, but what you are doing under the circumstances. And that is why I would like to recommend some psychotherapy for you to help straighten you out. That is not meant as an insult because I opted for therapy myself at one point in my life and it helped a lot.

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